Saturday, January 29, 2011

Never had to pee so bad in my life!

Ok so yesterday we went on a day trip to Cambridge.. its like an ivy league college town.. anyway, it was like a 2ish hour bus ride... so we spend the whole day there, and then before we leave, we get some hot chocolate.. then when I get to the bus, I drink the rest of my water bottle... so about 30 minutes into the ride home, I have to pee SO bad. We still have like an hour and a half at least until we get back. I knew right then that I was screwed. So I just try to ignore it. I put in my ipod and close my eyes.. An HOUR goes past and I'm like in the worst pain of my life. But I didn't want to like make the whole bus have to pull over for me, so I was in the biggest pickle. I tried SO hard to ignore it and wait, but I started to get hot. I strip down my jackets and scarves and sweaters. I took off my boots. Then I unbuttoned my pants because they were pushing on my bladder. (I had silky thermals under my pants.. this becomes important later in the story) So I'm sitting there with my eyes closed just trying to relax. I was RACKING my brain trying to come up with some way that I can pee. I have an empty waterbottle I could use, but I was afraid I would fill it up and still have more pee. I have a plastic sack I can use, but what was I supposed to do with it after I peed? I honestly considered just peeing my pants and then washing my clothes when we got home, but I didn't want to get pee on the seat. So FINALLY I lean to the girls in front of me, and I'm like "how much longer of a drive do we have, I'm gonna pee my pants.. pass it on" So they pass it to the front of the bus and it gets passed back that we have 20 to 25 minutes left. So I'm like "ok, i'll try and hold it.." Then right after, I look out the window, and we are bumper to bumper in this traffic jam! I wanted to die! I start freaking out, looking around, standing up and sitting back down.. Then I'm like "is there a garbage can up there, i HAVE to pee in it!!" No one said anything.. finally, it was DEAD silent in the bus and I stand up and shout "GET ME OFF THIS BUS!" So the professors talk to the bus driver and convince him to pull over and let me off, and then I would take the subway the rest of the way home... my friend Megan was gonna come with me. So before I know it, the bus is pulled over and everyone is shouting at me to hurry and get off.. Mind you, my pants were un buttoned, my shoes were off, and my clothes were strewn about. I throw on my shoes and grab all my clothes and I'm waddling off the bus trying to keep my pants on.. they were sliding down because my silky thermals were like slick! So me and Megan run off the bus and I run into this pizza place and I'm like "DO YOU HAVE A RESTROOM?" the lady just looks at me, so I'm like shouting "BATHROOM, BATHROOM" she keeps staring, so I'm like "DO YOU HAVE A TOILET??" and she shakes her head no, so I run back out and I'm like holding myself.. In the mean time, Megan is standing outside laughing her butt off, and the bus with all my classmates were just driving off. So I start running down the street, trying to hold up my pants and carry all my stuff and I'm shouting at ever person that walks past "TOILET, WHERES THE TOILET?" and people are getting all frantic like "its over there, its over there!" So we are running and all I hear is Megan laughing so hard, and its making me laugh so hard so we come to a stop and we are both crouched down holding our crotches (she had to pee too) in the middle of some street. We have NO idea where we are. We are laughing SO hard and I'm like "Megan, I'm peeing!!" and she's like "NO dont pee!!" So we sprint down the street.. I BUST into this little shop and these 4 Italian men are standing there, and I'm like TOOOIIILLLLEEETTTT!!!!" And they freak out and they're like "yeah! yeah! back here!!" so I go pushing through the place and they lead me into this back room.. through this tiny closet.. I'm like tripping over buckets and boxes and I burst through the room just in time! I peed for like a year. Then I came out, and the men were like staring at me.. So we rush out of the place and we are standing on the street with NO idea where we were! Like the bus literally came to a hault, we jumped out, and it took off. So we walk around FOREVER and finally find a subway to get home.. I've never had to pee so bad in my life!!

7 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA where was I? I seriously didn't hear any of this going on, nor do I remember the bus stopping. Just so you know neither does anyone in the servery remember this...we're all dying laughing right now.

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  2. Jay, I feel your pain. Keep the liquids to a minimum on Wednesdays!

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  3. I could not stop laughing while reading this. Me and Emily. So funny. Although, I'm sure it wasn't at the time. Anyway, I'm glad you found one eventually :)

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  4. That was hilarious--I mean your telling of the tale, not having to pee so badly. Thanks for the loads of laugh!

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  5. butt cheek face you are nasty

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  6. that happened to me too!!!!!

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  7. why didnt you just pee pants

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